It’s often easy to spot a self-centered person, but it’s also true that many don’t even realize they’re coming across that way.
Being self-centered is more than just a little harmless self-interest. It’s a pattern of behavior that revolves around one’s self and disregards others’ feelings and needs.
Interestingly, people who are deeply self-centered tend to exhibit certain behaviors, often without even realizing it.
In this article, we’ll uncover these 9 tell-tale behaviors of deeply self-centered individuals.
If you spot these traits in someone you know – or maybe even yourself – it might be time for some introspection.
1) Constantly turning the conversation back to themselves
Self-centered people have a knack for steering any conversation back to themselves, often without realizing it.
We all like to share our experiences and discuss our interests. However, people who are deeply self-centered have a tendency to monopolize conversations.
They might interrupt others mid-sentence to interject their own thoughts or experiences. Or they might constantly relate other people’s experiences back to their own.
For instance, if someone is sharing about a recent vacation they went on, a self-centered person might quickly interject with “That’s nice, but let me tell you about my trip to…”
This behavior often stems from a deep need for attention and validation. They feel most comfortable when they are the focal point of conversations.
2) Lack of empathy
This is a trait I’ve personally encountered in some individuals who are deeply self-centered. The inability to empathize or show genuine concern for others’ feelings is a common behavior.
Once, I had a friend who seemed to have it all – successful career, loving family, and a great social life. But whenever I tried to share my struggles or challenges with her, she would dismiss it with comments like, “Well, at least you’re not dealing with what I am,” or “You should see the problems I have.”
I realized she was unable to put herself in my shoes and understand how I was feeling. Her world always revolved around her problems, her experiences, and her feelings.
This lack of empathy is not just hurtful but can strain relationships over time. It’s important to be aware of this behavior in others, and also in ourselves. Developing empathy requires active listening and genuine interest in others’ feelings and experiences.
3) They have a strong sense of entitlement
People who are deeply self-centered often believe they deserve special treatment and privileges. This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, such as expecting others to cater to their needs, demanding priority treatment, or believing their time is more valuable than others.
This behavior is linked to narcissism, a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance. In fact, according to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, narcissists tend to have a greater sense of entitlement than others.
This entitlement can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when these expectations are not met.
4) They rarely show gratitude
Gratitude is a trait that often eludes deeply self-centered individuals. Because they believe they deserve special treatment or that the world revolves around them, they may take others’ kindness for granted.
They often fail to acknowledge the efforts of others, whether it’s a kind gesture, a thoughtful gift, or even a sacrifice someone made for them. They expect such actions as a given, instead of appreciating them as acts of goodwill.
Lack of gratitude can make relationships with self-centered people challenging. However, understanding this trait can help us manage our expectations and navigate interactions with them more effectively.
5) They are often envious of others
Deeply self-centered individuals can often harbor feelings of envy towards others. If someone else achieves success, rather than being happy for them, they might feel a sense of resentment or inadequacy.
They may perceive others’ achievements as a threat to their own status or self-worth. This can cause them to belittle others’ accomplishments or even try to overshadow them with their own achievements.
It’s essential to remember that everyone has their path and pace in life, and it’s not a competition.
6) They struggle with genuine connections
Deeply self-centered individuals often find it challenging to form meaningful, lasting relationships. Because they prioritize their needs and desires above everything else, it can be hard for them to truly connect with others on a deeper level.
They may have many acquaintances, but few close friends who they share a genuine emotional bond with. Their relationships may often feel superficial or one-sided, with little mutual understanding or shared experiences.
This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness, even in a crowd. It’s a poignant reminder that genuine connections require empathy, understanding, and mutual respect – values that go beyond the self.
7) They often play the victim
I’ve noticed that self-centered individuals often cast themselves in the role of the victim. Even when they are at fault, they find a way to shift the blame onto others or external circumstances.
Once, I made plans with a friend who was frequently late. On this particular day, she showed up an hour late and missed half of the event. Instead of apologizing, she blamed me for not reminding her about the time.
This tendency to avoid responsibility and play the victim can strain relationships. It’s important for everyone to own up to their mistakes and learn from them instead of shifting blame.
8) They crave validation and attention
Deeply self-centered people often have a strong desire for validation and attention. They enjoy being in the spotlight and may go to great lengths to ensure they remain there.
They may frequently seek compliments or affirmation, and can become upset or resentful if they feel they’re not receiving their due recognition. This need for constant validation often stems from insecurities and a fragile sense of self-worth.
Understanding this behavior can help us respond with empathy, but it’s also important to set boundaries and not reinforce unhealthy attention-seeking habits.
9) They struggle with self-awareness
Perhaps the most significant characteristic of deeply self-centered individuals is a lack of self-awareness. They often don’t realize or admit to their self-centered behaviors, making it challenging for them to change or grow.
Without self-awareness, they may continue to hurt others and themselves, creating a cycle of negative interactions and strained relationships. The first step to breaking this cycle is recognizing these behaviors, both in ourselves and others, and taking steps towards growth and change.
Final thoughts: It’s all about growth
Understanding human behavior is often a complex journey. When it comes to self-centered individuals, it’s important to remember that their actions often stem from deep insecurities and a lack of self-awareness.
Recognizing these behaviors in others can help us navigate our relationships more effectively. But perhaps more importantly, recognizing these traits in ourselves can forge a path for personal growth.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Self-awareness is the first step towards change. By understanding our behaviors and how they affect others, we can strive towards becoming more empathetic, less self-centered individuals.
In the end, it’s all about growth and striving to be better versions of ourselves. And that journey starts with awareness and understanding.