Family dynamics can be a tricky landscape to navigate. Sometimes, no matter how much you try, there are family members that seem to drain your energy more than they replenish it.
According to psychology, there are certain types of family members you might be better off not keeping in touch with.
That doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means you’re prioritizing your mental health.
In this article, we’ll explore the 8 types of relatives that might fall into this category. So, if you’ve ever wondered if it’s okay to distance yourself from certain family members, read on.
1) The perpetual critic
We all have that one relative who never seems to run out of criticisms. No matter what you do, you’re not doing it right, or you could have done it better.
Psychology tells us that constant criticism can have a negative impact on our self-esteem and overall mental health. It’s a form of emotional abuse that keeps you second guessing yourself and undermines your confidence.
In a healthy relationship, constructive criticism is meant to help us grow and improve. But when it’s a never-ending stream of negativity, it’s often less about helping you improve and more about keeping you feeling small and inadequate.
If you have a family member who fits this description, it might be time to consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining. It’s important to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down.
It’s not selfish to prioritize your mental wellbeing.
2) The emotional vampire
Ever had a conversation with someone and felt completely drained afterward? I know I have. I have this one cousin, let’s call her Jane.
Every time I talk to Jane, it feels like she’s sucking the life out of me. She’s always complaining about her problems but never takes any advice to solve them. She thrives on drama and seems to enjoy pulling others into her chaos.
Psychology terms such individuals as ’emotional vampires’. They feed off your energy and leave you feeling exhausted and depleted. These people tend to be overly demanding, narcissistic, or constantly negative.
Maintaining a relationship with an emotional vampire can be harmful to your mental health. They create a toxic environment that can leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
If you have a family member like Jane, it might be healthier to limit your contact with them. It’s not about being callous but about preserving your peace of mind.
3) The gaslighter
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you doubt your own sanity, memory, or perception. It’s named after the 1944 film ‘Gaslight’, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane.
A family member who gaslights you might deny they said something hurtful, even if you remember it clearly. They might accuse you of being overly sensitive or misunderstanding them. Over time, this can make you question your own reality.
This kind of mental manipulation can have severe psychological effects, leading to anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-confidence.
If a family member is gaslighting you, it’s crucial to recognize it for what it is. Cutting ties with the gaslighter might be the best course of action for your mental health.
4) The guilt-tripper
Guilt-trippers are experts at making you feel bad for not doing what they want. They often use emotional manipulation to get their way, making you feel guilty for not meeting their expectations or demands.
They might say things like “After all I’ve done for you…” or “I can’t believe you would let me down like this.” These statements are designed to make you feel obligated to them, and it’s a manipulative tactic that can be quite damaging.
Being subjected to constant guilt-tripping can lead to feelings of anxiety, shame, and lowered self-esteem. It’s an unhealthy dynamic that doesn’t contribute to a positive or supportive relationship.
If you find a family member frequently using guilt to control your behavior, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your mental health.
5) The neglectful one
Neglect isn’t always about physical needs. Emotional neglect, where a family member consistently ignores or dismisses your feelings, can be just as damaging.
You might reach out to them, sharing your achievements or problems, only to be met with indifference. Or they might always be too busy to spend time with you, making you feel like you’re not a priority.
This constant lack of emotional support can leave you feeling lonely and unimportant. It sends a hurtful message that your feelings and needs aren’t valid.
Every person deserves to feel valued and loved in their family. If a family member is continuously neglectful of your emotional needs, it may be healthier for your overall wellbeing to distance yourself from them.
Remember, it’s not just about physical presence in your life; emotional presence is equally important.
6) The perpetual pessimist
I remember growing up with an uncle who could find a cloud in every silver lining. No matter what the situation, he had a knack for highlighting the negatives.
Over time, his constant pessimism started to affect my outlook on life. I found myself being more cynical, expecting the worst out of every situation. It was like his negativity was contagious.
Psychology affirms this. Negativity can indeed be contagious, and being around constant pessimists can impact your mental health and overall happiness.
If you have a family member who’s always focusing on the downside of things, it might be beneficial to limit your interactions with them. You don’t need their negativity influencing your perspective on life.
7) The envious one
We all experience envy from time to time. However, when a family member is constantly envious of your achievements, it can create a toxic environment.
The envious family member might downplay your successes or try to one-up you every time you share something good that’s happened. This can leave you feeling like you can’t share your happiness or achievements with them, which is hurtful.
Chronic envy can lead to resentment and strain in the relationship. It’s not healthy to be around someone who can’t be happy for your successes.
If you have a family member who always seems green with envy, it may be best to limit your interactions with them. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your wins and support you, rather than those who try to bring you down out of jealousy.
8) The abusive one
Abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal, should never be tolerated. If a family member is abusive towards you, it’s imperative to distance yourself from them for your own safety and mental health.
Abusive behavior can have severe psychological consequences, leading to trauma, anxiety, depression, and a host of other mental health issues.
It’s crucial to remember that being family doesn’t give anyone the right to mistreat you. You deserve respect and kindness, as does everyone else.
Remember: It’s about self-care
Navigating family dynamics can often feel like walking a tightrope. Balancing loyalty, love, and self-preservation is not always an easy task.
Psychology reminds us that our mental health and wellbeing are paramount. Cutting ties with toxic family members isn’t about harboring resentment or ill-will. It’s about realizing that you deserve respect and kindness in all your relationships.
It’s crucial to remember that setting boundaries with detrimental family members is not a sign of weakness but rather a form of self-care. It takes courage to prioritize your mental health, especially when it involves distancing yourself from family.
Seeking professional advice can be incredibly helpful in these situations. Therapists and counselors can provide the necessary tools and strategies to handle these complex dynamics effectively.
At the end of the day, it’s your life, your peace, and your happiness at stake. And those are things worth protecting.