Is something in your relationship starting to feel off, but you’re not quite sure what it is?
Sometimes, it’s easy to overlook behaviors that should set off alarm bells.
Maybe you’ve been holding on, hoping things will change. But if your partner is showing certain troubling signs, it might be time to rethink your relationship.
As a relationship expert, I’m here to help you recognize those red flags.
Today, we’re diving into seven specific behaviors that, if your partner is displaying them, are strong indicators it could be time to walk away.
Let’s get into them.
1) They constantly belittle you
In relationships, it’s natural to have disagreements.
However, when your partner consistently invalidates your feelings or belittles you, it’s more than just a simple disagreement.
Belittling is the act of making someone feel insignificant. It’s a form of emotional abuse that is often overlooked, masked under the guise of “jokes” or “teasing”.
It’s crucial to understand that a loving partner will support and respect you. They will acknowledge your feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them.
2) They’re overly affectionate all the time
Now, this one might throw you off. After all, isn’t being affectionate a good thing in a relationship?
Yes, it is. But, like anything, there can be too much of a good thing.
This could mean they’re constantly trying to know your whereabouts, incessantly calling or texting you, or excessively showering you with gifts and compliments.
This might seem sweet at first. However, over time, this behavior can become manipulative and controlling. It can make you feel obligated to reciprocate with equal intensity or feel guilty for wanting some space.
It’s also widely noted as a sign of other underlying issues. As put by psychologist Claire Scott, it’s a “sign of overcompensating for kind of a lack of communication or trust, or having a relationship that’s high quality”.
3) They make you feel guilty for spending time with others
In my years of experience as a relationship expert, I’ve seen this behavior more often than I’d like to admit. Your partner starts to make you feel guilty for spending time with friends, family, or even just by yourself.
Suddenly, the normal things you used to enjoy doing seem to be an issue. Any time spent away from them is seen as a betrayal. They might even accuse you of prioritizing others over them.
This is a classic sign of a codependent relationship. It’s when one person becomes so emotionally dependent on the other that they start to control and manipulate them.
It’s an unhealthy dynamic that can lead to emotional distress and can strain your other relationships. I’ve delved deeper into this topic in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
But for now, just remember – it’s perfectly healthy and necessary to have a life outside your partner.
4) They are always criticizing you
Is your partner constantly finding fault in everything you do?
If it feels like you’re never good enough in their eyes, this could be a huge red flag.
Criticism, especially when directed at your character rather than specific behaviors, can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem and the health of your relationship.
In fact, renowned researcher Dr. John Gottman identified such excessive criticism as one of the top predictors of divorce.
While occasional complaints are normal, being overly critical, especially of your personality or core values, is toxic. It’s not about helping you improve—it’s about control, belittling, and, often, projecting their own insecurities onto you.
If your partner’s default mode is criticism, it’s time to ask yourself: Is this really the kind of relationship you deserve?
5) They refuse to communicate openly
Open communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship. It’s through communication that we express our needs, address our concerns, and resolve our conflicts.
Yet, when your partner often shuts down any attempt at open conversation or avoids discussing certain topics, it becomes a major concern.
In my experience, a lack of communication or avoidance of difficult conversations often leads to misunderstandings and unresolved issues.
It’s like driving a car with a flat tire – you can still move, but it’s going to be a bumpy, frustrating ride and eventually things will come to a complete standstill.
Don’t overlook this one.
6) They never apologize or admit their mistakes
A relationship is a two-way street. It requires a lot of give and take, compromise, and most importantly, humility.
When your partner never acknowledges their mistakes or refuses to apologize, it’s a serious red flag.
As a relationship expert, I’ve often come across couples where one person justifies their actions instead of admitting they were wrong. This not only hinders the healing process but also creates resentment in the long run.
If this sounds like your partner, it’s time to take a step back and reconsider the relationship.
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7) They are abusive
This is a painful one to discuss, but it’s too important to ignore.
Abuse is not just about physical violence. As noted by the folks at Healthline “Abuse can be physical, but it can also be emotional, verbal, financial, or any other type of behavior that keeps one person under the control of another. ”
If your partner yells at you, puts you down all the time, controls your every move, isolates you from your friends and family, it’s abuse. If they make you feel worthless and stuck in a cycle of fear and self-doubt, it’s abuse.
You are worthy of respect and love. You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel safe and cherished.
This is not just a red flag – this is a glaring neon sign telling you it’s time to leave.
Moving forward
As we journey through life’s ups and downs, it’s essential to take a step back and reflect on our relationships.
Are they nurturing our growth, or are they holding us back? Are we being respected and cherished, or are we being belittled and manipulated?
While this list serves as a guide to identifying potential red flags, it’s important to remember that every relationship is unique. What’s crucial is your happiness, wellbeing and safety.
If your partner’s actions are causing you distress, it might be time to reassess your relationship.
To delve deeper into these intricacies of relationships, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown. He explores the complexities of finding a life partner, reflecting on his personal experiences and sharing invaluable lessons about shared values, growth, and mutual support in a relationship.
Remember, it’s never too late to seek help or walk away from an unhealthy relationship. After all, you deserve a relationship that brings out the best in you.