There’s a distinct disparity between learning something early and later in life, especially for women.
The difference comes down to timing. Learning a lesson too late means you’ve already made the mistakes you could have avoided.
According to psychology, experience is the best teacher, but wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have to learn everything the hard way?
In the spirit of preemptive wisdom, I’ve gathered nine lessons that almost all women learn a little too late in life.
Let’s explore these nuggets of wisdom to save ourselves some unnecessary heartache.
1) Self-care isn’t selfish
There’s a common misconception that prioritizing oneself equates to being selfish. This couldn’t be further from the truth, especially for women.
We’re often conditioned to care for others before ourselves. The consequence? We tend to ignore our needs and desires.
Understand this: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a vital life lesson that many women learn too late.
Self-care is about respecting your body, your mind, and your soul. It’s about creating balance in life, finding joy in small things, and nurturing yourself physically and emotionally.
According to psychology, women who practice self-care are happier, healthier, and more balanced. They’re also better equipped to care for others.
2) It’s okay to say no
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that saying yes to everything can lead you down a path of stress and overwhelm.
I used to be a yes-woman, always eager to please everyone around me. Whether it was taking on an extra project at work or helping a friend move on the only day I had planned for myself, I’d always agree.
Soon enough, I found myself drained and resentful. I quickly learned that it’s okay, necessary even, to say no.
Psychology supports this. The act of saying no is a form of self-preservation and boundary setting. It allows us to prioritize our needs and protect our mental health.
This lesson is one many women learn much later in life. We often feel the pressure to be nurturing, accommodating, and endlessly helpful. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Saying no when you need to is not only okay, it’s essential.
3) Perfect doesn’t exist
Striving for perfection seems to be ingrained in many of us, especially women. We’re often trying to be the perfect mother, wife, daughter, employee, or friend. However, chasing this elusive ‘perfect’ can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy.
Here’s something surprising: according to a study published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, perfectionism can lead to burnout at work, in relationships, and other areas of life. It’s a cycle that can wreak havoc on our mental health.
The truth is, perfection doesn’t exist. We’re all wonderfully flawed and that’s what makes us human. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress. Embrace your imperfections and remember, it’s our quirks that make us unique. Regrettably, this is a lesson many women learn too late in life.
4) It’s never too late to start
Many women, as they grow older, feel that they’ve missed the boat on certain opportunities. Whether it’s starting a new career, learning a new skill, or even entering a new relationship, we often limit ourselves with notions of ‘appropriate’ ages and stages.
However, one important lesson that comes often too late is understanding that it’s never too late to start. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no set timeline for achieving your dreams.
Starting something new can be incredibly beneficial for our cognitive health. It stimulates the brain, fosters a sense of accomplishment, and boosts self-confidence.
So whether you’re 25 or 65, remember that it’s never too late to embark on a new journey. Life is about growth and exploration – don’t let age or societal norms hold you back.
5) Letting go is a form of growth
Holding on to past mistakes, relationships, or regrets can often feel like carrying a heavy burden. It’s something many of us do, thinking that we’re learning from these experiences.
In reality, not letting go can prevent us from moving forward. It keeps us stuck in the past, replaying old scenarios instead of creating new ones.
Psychology teaches us that letting go is a form of growth. It allows us to make peace with our past and gives us the freedom to embrace the present and future.
You’re not defined by your past. You have the power to make a fresh start at any moment. This is a lesson many women learn later in life, but it’s never too late to implement it. Letting go is liberating and paves the way for new opportunities and experiences.
6) Everyone’s journey is different
In this era of social media, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. We see glimpses of other people’s lives and often wonder why ours doesn’t look the same. We question our choices, our paths, and our worth.
But here’s a heartfelt truth: everyone’s journey is different, and that’s what makes life beautiful. Your path is uniquely yours, filled with experiences that shape you into the person you are.
According to psychology, comparing ourselves with others can lead to harmful effects on our mental health, including feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Embrace your journey. Celebrate your victories, learn from your challenges, and remember that you’re exactly where you need to be. This is a lesson many women come to understand much later in life – but when we do, it changes everything.
7) Failure is a part of success
I remember a time when I was so afraid of failing that I wouldn’t even try. I thought failure was a sign of weakness, an indication that I wasn’t good enough.
Over time, I’ve come to realize that failure is not a setback, but a stepping stone towards success. It’s through our failures that we learn, grow, and become stronger.
Experiencing failure can lead to resilience, grit, and ultimately personal growth.
Don’t be afraid to fail. It’s not a reflection of your worth but a part of your journey towards success. This is a lesson often learned late in life, but once understood, it can be incredibly empowering.
8) Happiness is an inside job
For much of our lives, we’re led to believe that happiness comes from external factors. The perfect job, a loving relationship, or material possessions are often seen as tickets to happiness.
Over time, however, we come to realize that true happiness is an inside job. It’s about finding contentment within ourselves and making peace with who we are.
Lasting happiness comes from within and is more closely linked with our mindset and attitude than with external circumstances.
So instead of searching for happiness in the outside world, start cultivating it within yourself. This is a lesson that many women learn a bit too late in life, but it’s never too late to start. Happiness starts with you.
9) You are enough
Throughout our lives, we’re bombarded with messages suggesting we need to be more – more successful, more attractive, more accomplished. This can lead to a persistent feeling of not being enough.
But here’s the most crucial lesson of all: You are enough, just as you are.
Psychology confirms that recognizing our inherent worthiness can significantly boost our self-esteem and overall mental health.
You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. You are valuable, deserving, and enough, exactly as you are.