What makes a great parent?
There are countless books and opinions on how to be the best parent, but when it comes down to it, one key factor stands out — emotional intelligence.
Raising emotionally intelligent children starts with emotionally intelligent parenting, and it’s not just about knowing the right things to say. It’s about the habits and behaviors you model daily.
Today, I’ll walk you through five of these uncommon habits. These insights have not only transformed the way I approach parenting, but have also fostered a stronger bond with my child.
Let’s dive in.
1) Showing real empathy
How often do we dismiss our child’s feelings because we think they’re overreacting or being dramatic?
Let’s be honest — we all do it from time to time. It’s easy to brush off those big emotions in the middle of a busy day or when we feel like we know better.
But when we do this, we miss a crucial opportunity to connect, support, and teach our children one of the most valuable skills they can learn: empathy.
Being empathetic doesn’t mean indulging every whim or letting emotions run wild. It means recognizing and validating their feelings, even when they seem small to us.
When we practice empathy with our children, we’re not only teaching them to understand their own emotions but also showing them how to extend that understanding to others.
The benefits of this are well-backed-up science. For instance, research noted by Scientific American reveals that teenagers who receive empathy from their parents are more likely to show empathy toward their peers.
And this impact is long-lasting — it extends into their relationships as adults and even influences how they parent their own children.
So, next time your child is feeling upset, angry, or frustrated, try to pause, listen, and understand.
You’re not just helping them through a tough moment; you’re planting seeds for greater emotional intelligence down the road.
2) Open and honest communication
Growing up, my mother was a master of this. She was always open and honest with me and my siblings, regardless of the topic.
I remember a particular instance when I was about 10 years old.
I had messed up big time at school, and I was scared to tell her about it. But when I finally did, she didn’t react in anger or frustration, like I’d expected.
Instead, she calmly asked me what happened, how I felt about it, and what I thought the best course of action was.
Then we talked it through together. It was a conversation, not a lecture.
That moment taught me the importance of open and honest communication – not just in parenting but in all relationships.
It showed me that problems can be solved through conversation rather than confrontation.
Emotionally intelligent parents understand this. They create an environment where their children feel comfortable sharing their feelings and worries.
They know that honest communication builds trust and understanding – two essential elements of any healthy relationship.
3) Emotional regulation
Our brains are wired to mirror the emotions of those around us. It’s a phenomenon known as emotional contagion, and it’s particularly strong between parents and their children.
That’s why emotionally intelligent parents understand the importance of regulating their own emotions.
They know that if they’re constantly stressed or angry, their kids are likely to pick up on those emotions and mirror them.
These parents work on managing their own stress levels, keeping their anger in check, and modeling positive emotional responses.
They understand that their own emotional wellbeing is crucial not just for them, but for their children as well.
In essence, these parents lead by example, showing their kids how to handle emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
4) They prioritize self-sare
This is a big one.
As parents, it’s so easy to get caught up in the demands of our kids and family life that we forget to take care of ourselves.
We often push our needs to the side, thinking we’re being selfless or putting our family first.
But here’s the catch: neglecting our own well-being can actually backfire.
According to Psych Central, a lack of self-care is associated with “less patience with your children.” And we all know that parenting requires an abundance of patience.
When we’re constantly running on empty, it’s much harder to respond to our kids calmly and thoughtfully. Instead, we may find ourselves more easily frustrated or overwhelmed.
Moreover, how can we expect our children to develop healthy self-care habits if we don’t model them?
By neglecting our needs, we inadvertently send the message that self-care isn’t important.
But when we prioritize our physical, mental, and emotional well-being — whether that’s through regular exercise, carving out some quiet time, or simply getting enough rest — we’re not only taking care of ourselves but setting a powerful example for our children.
So, think of self-care not as a luxury, but as a necessary part of being the best parent you can be. When you take time to recharge, you’re not only giving more to yourself but to your entire family.
5) They embrace tough teachable moments
Life is full of teachable moments, and emotionally intelligent parents know how to make the most of them.
Instead of shielding their children from every hardship or disappointment, they use these experiences as opportunities to teach their children about resilience, patience, and empathy.
For instance, when their child doesn’t make the school basketball team, they don’t just console them – they talk about perseverance, the value of hard work, and the importance of not giving up.
These parents understand that it’s not about protecting their children from every negative experience, but about teaching them how to navigate these experiences in a healthy and constructive way.
Final thoughts: An emotional legacy
Raising emotionally intelligent children isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen overnight, but by embracing these uncommon habits — showing empathy, fostering open communication, regulating your emotions, prioritizing self-care, and embracing teachable moments — you can build a strong emotional foundation for your kids.
The small steps you take every day can make a world of difference in nurturing emotionally resilient, understanding, and compassionate individuals.
You’ve got this.